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6 minute workout

How to do a 5 min workout AKA Lionel’s Bullshit Workout

Went to the Parkway True Fitness gym and am convinced about 2 things

1) Parkway True Fitness has shit equipment
2) The Universal Leg Press at the gym involves my bodyweight in the resistance.

Now, allow me to explain

1) Parkway True Fitness has shit equipment
In my office gym, i use the Nautilus Nitro Leg Press (demonstrated here by an old dude, hence, emphasizing my laziness, by choosing to use an exercise machine, that an old dude could use)

Unfortunately, the same machine at True Fitness Parkway doesnt allow you to select a weight beyond 60lbs because it hasnt been maintained– a task for which i distinctly remember paying monthly fees to have done.

and so i am compelled to use the Incline Universal Leg Press. Here, i prove how hardcore my Lazyman workout is with a picture of an Mature Woman, using a similar machine

There is no better way to prove your manliness than with a picture of an old lady doing what you do, only without having to struggle like hell

So what is the difference?
2) The Universal Leg Press at the gym involves my bodyweight in the resistance.

In the latter, im not only lifting the resistance of the machine, but im also lifting my own bodyweight, because im not pushing the weight away from my body, rather, im pushing my body AWAY FROM the machine. For those of you who dont get it, here are pictures

No incline and no freakin bodyweight interference

Long story short, the Universal Machine is actually screwing up my readings, because i cannot get an accurate measure of how much weight im actually lifting.

To make matters worst, the Universal machine measures resistance in KG and not pounds, which the Nitro Machine uses.

So on paper im lifting less even though it’s way f%^*ing harder than it was on the Nitro.

Cut the bullshit, what are the numbers for this week

Bodyweight- 83.4kg (im not losing any weight, im getting heavier. Maybe the scale’s faulty)

253lb X 11 (includes 3 rest pause reps)
(DOWN from 260lb X 13, though i swear its the extra bodyweight)

Seated Row
140lb X 7
(up from 125lb X 7)

Seated Chest Press
125lb X 7 (includes 1 rest pause rep)
(up from 110 X 7)

Total Workout Time: 5 MINUTES

So yes, im moderately upset by having my readings screwed up by not having a usable Nitro machine.

BUT this being the year of Positive Lionel, im not going to sweat over the small stuff, and i did see a 15lb increase in my other two exercises, and 1 minute less on my total workout time. I was in and out of the gym in 17 minutes, and that’s only coz i fumbled for 3 minutes on the faulty machine.

Akan Datang
2 more workouts to go before January runs out. Will try to do these last 2 workouts in the office gym for consistency.

In the meantime, im still eating like a beast. Gotta go and have my chicken chop and 2 sides, BBQ chicken wings and Stingray. Life’s great coz i live close to really good food


About lionelsnotes

I started ranting in Facebook notes, now il just rant here instead. Seems...neater


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